Double-ewe-ay and alphabet reform
Over here in the great state of double-ewe-ay I wonder why hardly anybody can bring themselves to say western australia. But the truth of the matter is that, ninety five times out of a hundred, double-ewe-ay is what you will hear. Perhaps it is a syllable too far because their stately neighbours have no problem saying south australia and absolutely never say ess-ay.
So my ears are having to cope with hearing double-ewe far more often than normally and I find it an ugly sound. Many millions of man hours are lost each day across the planet by people who are forced to say double-ewe double-ewe double-ewe dot. Three syllables is a lot for the name of one letter of the alphabet.
So we need some alphabet reform. Not difficult stuff like catering for each of the forty different sounds of the English language with forty different letters. Or eliminating the letter c which is used for two sounds while these sounds are already available from letters s and k.
But reform of the names of the letters is easier, quite easy really.
Double-ewe has to go. For a start it is visually a double-vee and it has no relationship with its associated sound. The letter aitch also has no sound association and the people who say haitch should probably be congratulated.
If a couple of ridiculous names of letters are to be changed why not tidy up the names of all the letters.
For all the consonants why not follow the example of the letter b - the sound associated with the letter followed by ee. There is a difficulty with the letters c j and s and we will just have to live with that.
So, lets look at the new names of the letters of the alphabet
ay
bee
see
dee
eee
fee
gee - soft g as in generous
hee
i
jay
kee
lee
mee
nee
o
pee
queue
ree
ess
tee
u
vee
wee
exx
yee
zee
There you are - say them through out loud a few times - it will just roll off your tongue.
Kits will be sent to all schools across the land and the official changeover will be sometime next month.
Just a thought - but Westralia would be a much better name for the state of Double-ewe Ay.
